In Other People's Lives

I love to spend time in other people's lives. Is that creepy? Of course it is, but I am a writer and therefore a reader and I love to know things about people. For this reason I love finding other people's blogs in which they talk primarily about their everyday lives and experiences of being them. It is like I am there with them, being a kind of invisible part of them.
People and places and events stick with me even when they are fictional. I carry them around with me like so many helium balloons; floating and bobbing along and every so often catching my attention. I love stories, real or fiction, whether I am a physical part of them or not.
So that is what I am doing right now. While the roomies watch their movie in the family room, I am curled up in bed under my little blue blanket reading other people's lives and pushing away the sadness. When I read, books, other people's blogs, facebook and twitter updates, I can forget myself and the sadness that has been so lately pulling at me.
I want to melt away. I want to curl up inside myself until I am strong enough to come back as myself; to push away the sadness and be happy. I will be happy again; for my friends, for myself, and so that when I tell people that I am ok I will really mean it.
Sometimes I think of my future. I don't know how it will be, but I can picture several different scenarios. They usually involve family or friends and always a pet or several. Sometimes my imagination is so vivid that I long for that future self, but mostly I am content not quite knowing where I will be. I am happy enough to be where I am and let my life play out as I make my choices, good ones and bad ones.
As to my poor darling fin, he is still here with me, still not well and the both of us are still awaiting protocol and procedure and for people to decide we are important enough to get back to.
Off to find my happier self. =:

I Thought Too Long For A good Title Here

bla bla bla. bla bla bla bla bla! So I really don't feel like doing anything today. Not like can't get out of bed woe is me and life kind of thing, more like I just got bored doing all the things I've been doing for the past few days. It's time for a change!
Ah but alas,what else shall I do? Perhaps I'll actually write today since all the other times I said I would I never actually did.
Well in other news, it looks like my weekend is full. yay finally! I have missed hanging with people.
So long for now, more for you when the muse calls back. =D

Crashing Back To Earth

... And so, fresh from the retreat, bright-eyed and full of potential, she set off to right. ... Enter reality. Yesterday I came back from the third annual writing retreat held by our English club. We started it with our advisor back when I was president and we were all excited about writing. I am not the president anymore since graduating and I personally feel that the current members are a bit distracted by their other responsibilities, but the turn out continues to grow and the retreat will live on for a very long time. At the time the retreat began, there were only eight of us, including our faculty advisor and two alums. The hotel we found--somewhat by accident-- was the cheapest we could afford, but turned out to be an amazing find! I think our advisor called it budget luxury. This year that whole pioneer group of us are alums, though we lost two. Our original session leader, who on the first retreat lead all of the sessions/workshops, lead our first session, but this year, like the last, we were able to have multiple session leaders. Last year I skipped a few, but This year I wanted to try for all of them. The year the sessions become so numerous that they over lap, I will declare the retreat a conference and mourn it’s loss. Being away is always so much fun for me, but has always been hard because I am always reluctant to come back home. Even after I get home and except that the adventure is over for now, I usually need a bit of time with my memories to separate myself before I can really talk about it with anyone who was not there. That being said, and this being Monday, I think my friends are hot tub obsessed! I liked the hot tub plenty even if it was way too hot for my liking, but every time we had even half an hour of downtime they wanted to go back in the hot tub. We also broke tradition slight and went to Applebee’s twice. The first year when we discovered that the hotel Had an Applebee’s in it, I guess we decided it would be our traditional first meal. Last year, when we all tried to sit at the same table, It was kind of a mess since we had so many people. But this year Slippers and I and our friend … one of the original, sat at our own table and goofed off. After that we pretty much stuck together the whole time, though not exclusively.Our second time at Applebee’s was Saturday afternoon when Everyone else had sandwiches. One girl couldn’t have bread or cheese and I had leftovers still so five of us were going to get take out but ended up eating there. As far as fun things in my future go, this was the last thing I had planned, So I haven’t much in the way of events to look forward to for a while now. And tomorrow I get my wisdomteeth pulled. Wish me Luck! =D TTFN

... Or Not

So I thought I'd put some proper pants on--I was in my jammy shorts before--for when my mother came, but she isn't here yet. She's bringing me food so I thought I might have to carry a few things in. It's a good thing she isn't buying any ice cream --- I was on the phone with her about when she was finishing up and that was hours ago. O well, I am good at waiting.
So still no snow thus far and it's almost Christmas! ... At least here there isn't any snow, but I hear there's some almost everywhere else. I did start writing that story, but haven't finished it yet. I wonder if finishing will help?
As for finished stories though, I did manage to write one whole one and I've sent it off to a friend to see what he thinks of it. It's a bit twisted and I think I may have officially freaked myself out writing it. O well, I'll wait and see what my friend thinks.
Still no mother ... or food.
Happy Saturday!

Bad For The Writing

I think that case of senior itus has been very bad for my creative writing. O I've written some small bits of poetic verse here and there, But I've bearly written so much as a 55 since the summer, and that's just not like me.
True I've got some writing obligations I need to get filled right quick, but I think I may try some creative writing to help me out. First order of business, a litterary snow dance! Yes that's write, I want snow and outside cold and icicles! I love that yumm yumm winter!
I may start off with something short to excersize my writing muscles first. Also I need to get better at sustaining longer plot lines. Speaking of short fiction, go check out my pal
Polar McCoy
over at his writing blog. I promise you will be delighted!
So here's to the return of story and the bringing of snow ... cheers!

The Happy Sad

It is november and i am starting to get chills.Not the kind that you might expect because of the cold weather, but the kind you get when you are anticipating something exciting. Yes, thanksgiving is coming up fairly soon and Christmas too, but these are not the source of my excitement. I am excited for winter. =D As far as I'm concerned it's pretty much already winter here. We have entered that seemingly endless black tunnel and the air is getting too nippy for autumn, and we're sure to get snow soon. I love winter; the crunch and sparkle of new snow, the decoration of icicles, pine trees and peppermint, and hot coco by a roaring fire. I love just about everything but the cold itself. And despite all this, winter always manages to make me sad. Yes, that little blossum of excitement that awakens from deep inside and brings so many happy memories, feelings and traditions, is laced with sadness. I have no clear explanation for this, but it seems to have been so for quite some time now. something about a cold clear winter morning or the moonlit snow beneath the black cloked sky causes me to thrill and drink in their beauty, but also to want to weep. But o, I love winter so. Even just the word excites me and floods me with memories. I think I may try to write something on the subject.

The Waters

It is a mad place here.
Here in the blue waters that run so deep.
It is a mad place.
There was calm once.
Once before the madness began.
In the water that ran so clear and so blue.
There was calm.
Once the sharks swam serenely.
Their streamline bodies cutting so smoothly through the water.
Powerful fins barely rippling as they moved like dancers.
Now there is only madness.
Clouds of angry grays and blacks.
They make the water thick with their wild churning, roiling whirling.
Once graceful fins now lashing out.
There are teeth as well.
Bright flashes of gnashing teeth like a million shards of glass.
All for a single drop of red blood.
The single drop dropped dripping from above.
And it has caused a frenzy.
The surface ripples.

hi again

So I am very pleased to report that my snow leopard is finished ... though, long since by now. It is finished none the less. Today is very cold out and firefox is saying it is 16 Degrees out. brrrr we also had a mini blizzard, and when i say mini, i mean it litterly lasted no more than five minutes.It was very random, sometimes i wonder about those things. In any case, i am currently working on a story that i am considering posting on here when it is finished. We will see how it all goes. ttfn and keep warm in love and coco!