Painful Slumber

I, as I believe I have said before, am not a huge fan of sleep. I think I appreciate it more now that I am older, but only at night. Lately I have been feeling like Sleep has become just something else to pass the time or something to do because there is nothing else I can do with my day. I don't know, sleep and I have never had the healthiest of relationships. I don't know if I actually have insomnia because I've never been tested, but It wouldn't surprise me. In any case, I have more or less excepted sleep even if my body has not. One thing I don't think I will ever be able to deal well with though are naps. Now of course the way naps usually work is somewhat like I have previously described sleep. That is to say, most every kid hates them but as they grow older, they learn to appreciate and miss them. Me on the other hand, nothin' doing. I still hate naps with a passion. They are the enomy and I will only admit defeat to them as an unfortunate result of mind-numbing bordom and no one around. Besides generally hating the idea of sleeping in the middle of the day, naps do bad things to my body, and I have known myself to do strange things during them. As far as I know, I am not a sleep walker, and I can not remember anyone ever telling me that I have ever spoken in my sleep. Although I did once laugh out loud in my sleep. Strange things I have done in my sleep though include shutting off an alarm, pulling my headphones from my ears and placing them neatly beside my CD player, and answering the phone. No joke here, I have woken up, phone in hand and someone in midsentence on the other end. I'm not really sure why the phone itself didn't wake me up, since the ring is so loud. The other reason I hate naps--because let's face it, we've all done something strange in our sleep at least once--is that they never feel good. I always hear people talk about how they feel good after a nap or that they feel refreshed. I never have such feelings. Clearly I am doing something wrong. That, or else they know I hate them. (growl) The most naps ever do for me is make me more tired or disoriented. Sometimes when I wake up from one of those unfortunate little devils I am completely disoriented and shaking uncontrolably. and my eyes bother me too. I really hate that feeling. But I think worst of all is when I wake up and hurt. Have you ever gone to sleep fine and then woke up in pain? I don't mean like you slept on your arm or slept on your shoulder wrong and I don't mean like serious pain either, I mean with your body just kind of achy. Eventually it will go away, but I will fall asleep feeling fine, then wake up just aking and feeling like I could use a good massage or something. It's pretty much aweful; I hate naps and they hate me back.

Sleeping Away

I think I am going nocturnal again. Oddly enough I don't really mind sleeping late in to the day, but sometimes at night when nothing is going on I'd like to be able to shut out the world for awhile. But alas I am stuck trying to find things to pass my time until my body gets tired enough to let me drop off. This usually happens around 3ish now. True 9 is a bit early for me to ever have tried sleeping, but I am in a mood to put life out of my mind for awhile.
*sigh* O well, perhaps someday my bordom and inability to sleep early will do great things for me. perhaps I will discover something useful. lol ah well, maybe, maybe. Also, it is really hot in my room right now so that does not help at all. I think I may need to open a window. probably if it gets too cold I will fall asleep easier because I will want to snuggle up in my blankets.
Ok, sleep attempt take 5

Sleep Sleep And More Sleep

I've mentioned before how much my sleep schedule has been thrown off this summer. It's strange because I can't seem to right myself. I could not sleep at all one night, be up all day doing some sort of activity then get back to my room and sleepfor a little bit, then still be tired the next day. So then of course the cycle never get's righted.
*sigh* So I am of course up trying to find things to do while the rest of the world is sleeping. I tried watching old movies, but I couldn't find very many online and I can't watch DVDs. During the day however, I have no problem at all sleeping. In fact, sometimes I feel like an olympic sleeper. lol Not sure I could get a metal for it though. But even then my sleep is broken up in to segments and I can't sleep for more than two hours with out waking up, however briefly, in between.
I really must find something to keep me awake during the day, or else find something other than reading to pass the time at night. O when will it end, when will it end?
***In other news, designer cats are quite fascinating. And I'm really not sure how I feel about this Anne Baker lady who seems to have had a hand in some of them.

Just a little Night Musing

It seems i am in that most peculiar of states in which I know exactly what is wrong with me, but I don't know why. That is to say that I am once again in one of my moods. I think I've already mentioned the whole being nocturnal and my theories on that. It isn't just sleeplessness anymore I don't think; I am extremely restless and unsettled. I haven't the foggiest idea why though. hmm
In happier news, I have gotten myself a bran new computer!!! He is all black and shiny and runs fast and beautifully, I am in love. I have named him Finn. I must confess that I have written a post on here with him already, but mostly I am still using Scott here for reasons slightly beyond my control. I can't wait till I'm using Finn fulltime and Scott and I can part ways. I'll have to have a final blogging with him just to say good bye. *sigh*
Tomorrow I'm thinking about bringing Eddie around and playing for people. It should be fun and maybe I can keep my mind occupied. Well, Back to my books it is then. I downloaded a bunch so I'll have something to do.
sleep well

Counting The Hours

I can't sleep and it is annoying me. I think at least every summer for the past few years now I've become nocturnal unless there was some reason for me to get up early, in which case I usually just fell asleep afterward. *sighs* Somehow I keep ending up in rooms where i don't any sunlight in the morning and I think maybe this is part of the problem. I know when I have my curtains closed from the night before, it is very hard for me to wake up and stay awake.
I like the night well enough, but there is no one to talk to and really nothing to do with my limited resources. Usually I just download lots and lots of books because I've always had trouble sleeping and this usually helps me. lately though, I've just been up all night, a book playing and not entirely holding my interest.
I had actually thought I was beginning to finally turn my sleep cycle back to rights, but I guess not. I fall asleep around 7 a.m. and have been getting up around 10. It looks like this is going to repeat for another few days so I really wish I could get some sleep. I am completely exhausted, but my body just won't give me the satisfaction of a night's rest. Also, I really hate sleeping when it is still light outside. I've always had an aversion to naps during the day, but when my body wants to sleep and there is nothing around to keep me awake ...
In the book I am reading now, the main character's love interest really started off as a complete jerk. So far he hasn't redeemed himself in my opinion, but i'm not the one he's trying to have a relationship with so I guess that doesn't Matter. Actually the only thing he said that really bothered me was that girls are supposed to like romantic novels. WHAT!!! I hate romance novels; they make me gag. The only reason I've read more than one of them is because sometimes people misfile them if the author writes in more than one genre. I've gone to the library for a good mystery and accidentally gotten a romance by the same author instead. I like to tell my brother, "well if no one dies before the next cd/tape is over, I'm going to stop reading this." lol
Well, enough about that. I suppose really all I can do is continue listening to my book and keep counting hours I must wait before it is polite to talk to people again.
Hope you are getting more sleep than I am.

Reading by Computer Light

So, the semester is over, most of my friends have gone back home--with no hope that i'll ever see some of them again--I am all moved in to my summer room, and I am awake once again. Maybe I should get my masters in counseling and treat insomniacs hahaha. Also, my leg kills and I am planning on making an appointment to see someone about it tomorrow ... cross your fingers that nothing's broken
.
It's always tough to find things to do when everyone has given over to the state of dreams and unconsciousness. I actually have yet to unpack my room, so I could do that which is what I had planned for yesterday, but it hurts too much to move around such a small space and do all that bending. It still sounds hollow. Sometimes I like to sew, but that's usually a task I need some sort of background noise to. I also don't really know where any of my stuff is since my mom moved me out and stuck everything in bags. ... ah well, I shall keep reading then shall I?

Once cut the ice may bleed.
So dark so rich so deep.
Such an endless flow to make rivers.
Leaving shattered crystals so beautiful, yet so cold.