In My Own Little Corner, In My Own Little Mind

Sometimes I think I spend too much time in my mind. Like when someone says something to you and you think you've answered them, but really you forget that your part of the conversation is actually not taking place out loud? I say I don't expect people to be able to read my mind and for the most part I don't, but I do sometimes forget that people need clues to what I am thinking or intending. That being said, I wonder just how much of myself I share with others.
I often find myself thinking how little people know me even sometimes my closest friends. Then I wonder if I should really expect them to know certain things about me, like how there are certain things I do not like to talk about; not because I am ashamed of things, but more so because I do not like fuss. Sometimes when I buy something new like a braselet for example, I don't like to show it off right away, rather I like to keep it to myself while I enjoy the newness of it. Then I'll casually wear it somewhere.
Then I think to myself,does anyone ever notice this stuff about me and if so would anyone even care? Or is it even reasonable for me to expect that someone might notice? It's not exactly something you could ask a person either; "Hey do you ever notice how I act when I get new things,?" So I am at a dead end. On the one hand, it would make sense for my close friends at least to notice these little characteristics about me, but on the other hand the things they don't notice, is it because I don't share enough about myself?
I do try not to talk about myself too much largely because I don't want to feel conceited, but also because I am somewhat insecure and I don't think people care all that much. I suppose that is something like my facial expressions. Sometimes I wonder how much people can read what I am thinking or how I am feeling from my face, but I never get a clear answer whenever I work up enough nerve to actually ask someone. I figure for the most part that people don't pay any attention to my face because there are times I have forgotten my glasses and almost no one ever notices right away.
Although I did once have an aquaintence comment that he liked to watch the expressions on my face. He made this comment while I was listening to a new piece of music he had just mixed. Of course it confuses the issue whenever I remember that. I know there are other ocasions that people have looked at my face and said "you looked mad" or "you looked really excited" or "you smile a lot." Then there are the times when people have said things to indicate that my expression was unreadable.
And then there are those times when nearly everyone gets it wrong; those times when someone thought I looked really tired when I am just bored or pensive, or when someone thought I was looking at them expectantly when really I had spaced out and just happened to be looking in there direction. So it all boils down to can people actually read my facial expressions when I am not merely reacting to something, or do people even pay attention?
Alas, perhaps I am just not socialized enough. So when my friends do something that makes me think you should know better, I'll just have to think to myself that it's too bad no one really knows me. Then of course because I think entirely too much--yes that is possible--I start to thinkhow well do I really know my friends? Do I pay enough attention to notice the little things about them?

The Elusive and Obscure

I've always liked being different from other people; it was and still is part of what makes me special. I can remember mentally commenting on the herd mentality of my classmates and how they whent from one hot movie star to another. I can also remember being almost purposefully contrary. Not that I disliked what my friends loved, more like that I liked the still liked but less popular thing. Hmm, can you put that many likes in one sentence? Anyway, my contrary tastes have always saved me from being a crowd follower--not that there weren't things I liked right along with my friends. Unfortunately this gets to be a problem now that i'm not only going against my friends, but the popular market. Can you see where this is headed? It can be near impossible to find things I like. Take music for example, not only do I like artists that my friends have never heard of, but some of the CDs are even out of print. The problem is that while this artist was popular in his day, I don't think he would have been in the mainstreem of popular artists of his day. Un like Frank Sinatra whom I also like, people still know who he is and you can still buy most of his music. Peter Nero is pop market popular for only a few songs.His lesser known works--at least by the pop market--are the ones seemly out of print. Wouldn't you know it, those are the ones I want. That's part of my other problem, I may end up liking something after the fact. This could be a good thing caust wise, but usually it gets to be quite challenging. Of course it's always rewarding in the end when I can find what it is I wanted. In Mr. Nero's case, I just haven't been alive that long. I made a joke to my friends once that most of my favorite people were dead; it isn't true, a lot of them are fictional. hahaha O well, it's a challenge being different, but I wouldn't want it otherwise.