In Other People's Lives

I love to spend time in other people's lives. Is that creepy? Of course it is, but I am a writer and therefore a reader and I love to know things about people. For this reason I love finding other people's blogs in which they talk primarily about their everyday lives and experiences of being them. It is like I am there with them, being a kind of invisible part of them.
People and places and events stick with me even when they are fictional. I carry them around with me like so many helium balloons; floating and bobbing along and every so often catching my attention. I love stories, real or fiction, whether I am a physical part of them or not.
So that is what I am doing right now. While the roomies watch their movie in the family room, I am curled up in bed under my little blue blanket reading other people's lives and pushing away the sadness. When I read, books, other people's blogs, facebook and twitter updates, I can forget myself and the sadness that has been so lately pulling at me.
I want to melt away. I want to curl up inside myself until I am strong enough to come back as myself; to push away the sadness and be happy. I will be happy again; for my friends, for myself, and so that when I tell people that I am ok I will really mean it.
Sometimes I think of my future. I don't know how it will be, but I can picture several different scenarios. They usually involve family or friends and always a pet or several. Sometimes my imagination is so vivid that I long for that future self, but mostly I am content not quite knowing where I will be. I am happy enough to be where I am and let my life play out as I make my choices, good ones and bad ones.
As to my poor darling fin, he is still here with me, still not well and the both of us are still awaiting protocol and procedure and for people to decide we are important enough to get back to.
Off to find my happier self. =: